Daniel Palladino is No Noah Baumbach

We Watch Episode 124: "A Vineyard Valentine," The Silliest Depiction of Martha's Vineyard Ever Filmed

Welcome to Gilmore Women: Two journalists discuss everything that’s wrong with every episode of Gilmore Girls & why we still love it

Ah, yes, February in Massachusetts: famously a time for outdoor dining in light layers.

What’s Wrong With Episode 124: “A Vineyard Valentine”? Rory Has Fully Merged with Her Donna Reed Alter-Ego, Luke is Deeply Unpleasant, and Martha’s Vineyard in February is Not a Mild-Weather Hang

by Maggie and Megan

While we wait for Netflix to load on Megan’s television, we air our feelings about this episode.

Megan: I think this is the worst episode in the whole series. Well, maybe not the worst episode, but it is pretty bad.

Maggie: Which one is worse?

Megan: I don't know.

Maggie: I'm dreading it. Which other one have we dreaded this much?

Megan: I'm struggling to think of it. Yeah. I think this may be the low point of the entire season.

Maggie: Oh god, it's called “Vineyard Valentine.” Oh it's actually a Valentine's Day thing too? Oh, that's terrible.

“Previously on Gilmore Girls” reminds us of how terrible Logan’s poor little rich boy life has been.

Megan: I didn't forget all of this stuff happened, I didn't need to be reminded of it!

Maggie: You mean this nonsensical narrative in which Logan is horrible and everyone knows he's horrible, then Lorelai just like somehow says it's okay for them to be together.

Megan: Yes, there's no explanation, and it doesn't make sense. And meanwhile, Luke has a new daughter, a new old daughter.

Then we are reminded that Luke actually said “It’s OK with you to postpone the wedding?”

Megan: “No, but I'll lie and say it is!”

The show begins, Lorelai is in the kitchen at the Dragonfly, where Sookie is having a meltdown because she doesn’t have an original idea for the Inn’s Valentine’s Day dinner. Lorelai says don’t ask her because she likes burritos and no one wants burritos for Valentine’s Day.

Maggie: I do!

Megan: Yeah, I do!

Maggie: Yeah, like fancy filling burritos. Maybe with a sauce?

Lorelai and Sookie discuss their personal Valentine’s plans and Lorelai says they won’t be celebrating because Luke thinks it’s a Hallmark holiday and they don’t have reservations.

Maggie: She's so sad!

Megan: She is and also, like, it is such a problem that they clearly didn't talk about Valentine's Day plans. They basically are already broken up.

Maggie: No! They don't talk about anything anymore.

Megan: And I also don't like that she's just parroting his anti-Valentine's Day sentiment.

Maggie: Yeah, she's lost all of her moxie!

Megan: She's even dressing in more like muted neutrals, which feels wrong.

A Zydeco band shows up at the Inn because Lorelai had booked them for a tryout for the wedding and forgot to cancel. She starts to tell Sookie how she’s lost all her deposits.

Maggie: They would actually have four months still before the wedding? And they were already doing this last minute. Luke would never delay. This is just a cop out. Wrong! This is wrong.

Megan: It feels wrong and it feels like increasingly just, like we've been saying, like it's a parody of itself. They're not acting like the characters that we've known.

Maggie: And it's going to get even worse. Like, why are they going to Martha's Vineyard? This would never happen!

Megan: In wintertime! Yeah, this is like almost unwatchable, this episode.

“Where you lead, I will follow…” the opening credits roll. We are forced to remember a better version of this show.

Maggie: These intro scenes feel so long ago.

Megan: I know. I feel personally attacked by them.

Maggie: They're like from a different show.

Cut to Logan and Rory’s apartment. Rory is looking for her Thucydides book for a class because she is trying to finish 4 semesters’ worth of work into 3 dangit! Logan is still asleep. It is 11:00. He asks why Rory is up. “It’s 11:04, the whole world is up.” Logan responds: “Keith Richards isn’t up. Pete Doherty isn’t up.”

Megan: Those should not be your idols, dude.

Logan begins to ask Rory if they can go away for the weekend because they “never see each other anymore,” but she says she has a ton of work to do.

Maggie: He's a terrible influence. Why did you get back together with him? You wanted to go back to school and focus on your school finally Rory.

Megan: He's so needy, too. Like Dean, he's threatened by her studying.

Maggie: Yes! But it's almost like the opposite reason, like he doesn't need to do anything and she does.

Logan says she can invite Lorelai and “that guy she’s with. What’s his name? Luke?” and Rory says, she’d have to drop a lot of things to go away. Logan, nepobaby that he is, says “That’s what things are for, to be dropped.”

Megan: That's not true.

Maggie: They have a pool table! Ahhh. Written and directed by Daniel Palladino. That's why this one's so bad.

Cut to the Yale Daily News office where Rory is telling a staffer that “the boys in the lab can be jerks to women, but don’t let that stop you. Girl power, baby. Betty Friedan’s dead, and we’ve all got to fill the vacuum.”

Maggie: Girl power baby?

Megan: Betty Friedan's dead? And we've all gotta fill the vacuum?

Maggie: Gloria Steinem's still very much alive.

Megan: I just have a lot of questions. Also that's just an old ass reference. Betty Friedan? The person who wrote The Feminine Mystique is dead? Breaking news!

Rory tells her news editor that they should take the Valentine’s weekend easy, and he tells her a sob story about being dumped.

Maggie: Ugh. This is so boring!

Megan: Yeah. I don't like it.

Rory calls Lorelai to ask if she and Luke want to meet them in Martha’s Vineyard. The Zydeco band is still playing in the background and Lorelai explains that this is “the last nail in the coffin of June 3rd.” Rory tries to comfort her by saying: “You’ll have your wedding, eventually.”

Maggie: Ugh! God! She can't get the deposit back?? And he's still just gonna be like yeah we just need to delay for this unknown time for an unknown reason because I can't like communicate or like figure out a personal relationship!!!

Megan: Everyone is like too passive on this show to do anything.

Maggie: "It's awesome!" says Rory about her rich boyfriend's home on Martha's Vineyard.

Megan: Weird they're now vacationing with Logan, someone that Lorelai hated just a few episodes ago.

Maggie: And we never found out why she changed her mind about him!

On their way to the car for their drive to Martha’s Vineyard, Lorelai is trying to hype up Luke by reading all about the available activities there from what I can only assume are printed out websites from the local tourist office.

Megan: They would know this because they live in New England — it's not that far away.

Maggie: Lorelai says she’s never been to Martha’s Vineyard? Her parents go every year! Wouldn't she have gone growing up? No. This is completely implausible.

Megan: This would make sense if like they were gonna go to Florida or like California for the first time.

Maggie: Yeah, or like a random place in upstate New York. Anyone with any kind of moneyed roots would have been to Martha’s Vineyard.

Megan: Especially if you live in Connecticut. It's really not that far away. Nothing is far away in New England, the states are like this* big.

*the distance between your thumb and forefinger

Luke is understandably a little grumpy and irritated about this weekend. He says he has concerns, especially around Logan: “Lorelai, where do we stand with this guy?”

Maggie: Good question, Luke!

Megan: I would like to know that, too.

Then Luke brings up that staying at other people’s houses is weird and they might have weird tap water! Lorelai goes on and on about the whalers who used to live on Martha’s Vineyard and how they could drink small beer, like the whalers did.

Maggie: “Small beer”? What does that mean? Is that a term?

Megan: It is! It's low alcohol content beer that people drank in the olden times, when the water wasn't safe.

Maggie: We should bring that back.

Megan: Actually, I would drink it.

Lorelai has made approx. 200 jokes about “ferries” and “Gay Head" and “spermaceti.”

Megan: It's not funny. It's so stupid.

Maggie: It's very stupid. Also, did Luke really ask if Martha's Vineyard was an island? Like he would not have known the answer to that? That is complete B.S.

They arrive at Martha’s Vineyard, which we know because of some really bad stock footage of beaches!

Megan: It's insane. Also, like check out this stock footage?

Maggie: It looks like Dawson's Creek!

Megan: It's probably North Carolina.

Rory and Logan open the door when Luke and Lorelai arrive. We do not like Logan’s energy.

Maggie: Ugh. I hate Logan in the like, host mode. It's so gross. He's acting like a 45 year old and he's like 20.

Megan: He's acting like your friend's dad who's trying to seem cool.

Maggie: Yes. Like when he goes to the Gilmores’ and he’s a college student and requests a Scotch neat.

Megan: He looks like he just walked in off a golf course.

Maggie: Yes, in his like polo and sweats. Also why does the Martha's Vineyard house look like a Christmas cabin?

Megan: I'm confused by that stained glass window.

Maggie: And like stone work everywhere? Wouldn’t all houses there be like Victorians or a Cape Cod or something?

Megan: You would think so.

Rory begins giving the lowdown on the house and what “we” do while we’re here. Such as when they make it to the local bakery.

Maggie: Ew, I do not like this, Rory acting like this is her house too.

Megan: "We never go before 8."

Maggie: It's a frickin Huntzberger place, also, like when has she been here? They don't like her!

They act as though they are now saying goodnight and retiring to their rooms after about 3 minutes of seeing each other.

Maggie: And they're just gonna like say goodbye? Say goodnight? That's really weird. It's not what you do with your family, especially Rory and Lorelai.

Megan: No, they'd go have a drink or like a cup of tea and like talk for two hours.

Maggie: Yeah, exactly. This is weird.

Luke is also weirded out by being sent to their rooms at 9:30 PM. He wonders if Rory and her “snotty boyfriend” are doing anything out in the living room.

Maggie: Yes. He is snotty!

Megan: At this point, Luke is just like actively antagonistic.

Lorelai leaves the bedroom to see what Rory is up to and whether it’s OK to leave the room. She finds her reading in the living room.

Maggie: And see now Lorelai feels like she has to like sneak around in this house, because they didn't offer to hang out!

Megan: I do like her weird sneaky walk, though. It seems really inefficient.

Maggie: And look at those terrible jeans! Ah! Rory's reading Joan Didion.

Megan: At last we see her reading a book again.

Maggie: So you think that's for class? She has to be reading for class, she does not have time for leisure reading if she’s taking so many courses!

Lorelai asks Rory if they’re supposed to stay in their rooms. She’s whispering. Rory is definitely playing like this is her house. It’s all a little weird.

Megan: This is so awkward. I don't like this.

The next morning, Luke and Lorelai wake up in their room. Luke is still grumpy. He’s eating a Power Bar. Lorelai starts admiring the view of the ocean and then going through Luke’s bags to see what else he brought. It’s a lot of survival gear and supposedly his “backcountry bag” but for some reason it doesn’t include cold-weather clothing?

Megan: Also like, wouldn't there be snow? It is February.

Maggie: I don't fault Luke for bringing Power Bars. Going to other people's houses can be spotty in terms of food availability.

Megan: That's true. A Power Bar, or like some kind of protein bar is an excellent travel snack. You don't want to starve. Although I do have to say his packing kind of makes him seem like a serial killer.

Maggie: Also Luke you don't have to be wearing a backwards baseball cap, it's the morning? And you’re in your 40s.

Megan: I also wonder if Mountain House paid for that product placement.

They finally leave the bedroom and find Rory and Logan fully dressed for the day, reading the paper over their breakfast of coffee and pastries. They are bickering because Rory needs Logan’s section to finish reading the story she started in her section.

Megan: I hate this — I hate this vibe with them. It's so gross.

Maggie: Ew! They are like performatively arguing for them, like a married couple bickering.

Luke and Lorelai decide to take a little walk on the beach. Instead of wearing his normal coat, Luke is in some kind of weird windbreaker.

Megan: Oh my god, they would be so cold!

Maggie: Also what is Luke's coat?! Doesn't he have a normal coat? Isn't he in real coats sometimes?

Megan: And this has to be a California beach, right? This is not New England, look at those cliffs.

Maggie: And it looks like it's 70 degrees and zero wind. Is Martha's Vineyard this sandy?

Megan: I don't know. I've never been there.

Maggie: Me neither.

Megan: You know, I do like Lorelai's jacket.

Maggie: But she's definitely too cold. Yet, Luke is the only one who suposedly didn’t pack well!

Rory shows up at the beach to let Lorelai and Luke know they’re leaving. wtf.

Maggie: Ew. Rory! Agh!!! She's just like "We're heading out. We'll be back in a couple of hours, we're going to the gym?" You don’t invite them??

Megan: Also she's like never exercised before in her life.

Maggie: No, they're 100% not exercising. Also like is the Martha's Vineyard gym open in February?

Megan: None of this makes sense.

Cut to a very not fancy looking gym, where Rory and Lorelai are in athleisure and have towels around their neck and are slamming glasses of cucumber water and walking around the weight room.

Maggie: Isn't everyone on Martha's Vineyard like retired? They probably all have like a country club... I guess this is supposed to be a country club? I mean, it's not nice. Definitely CW budget fancy gym.

Megan: That is kind of funny that they didn't know what to do with the machine.

Maggie: And it's funny that they're like, OK, we're just gonna go to the gym and walk around and drink cucumber water. But it's also like, was that what Rory was gonna do for two hours, while Logan played like pick up basketball in this terrible outfit?

Cut to Logan and Luke, playing outdoor 1 on 1 basketball. Luke is clearly still grumpy, and losing badly.

Megan: Also, it's Martha's Vineyard in February and they're outside, and he's wearing a T-shirt. Do they not have like indoor sports courts in New England? I'm pretty sure they do. I'm pretty sure at Smith they had a whole-ass indoor track and tennis facility. I also don't like this sort of manly fight that's going on between them. I just don't care about it.

When Luke and Logan return inside, they find Rory and Lorelai getting neck massages from two men, who apparently they roped into rubbing their shoulders even though they work for the laundry service at the gym?

Maggie: That is so gross. It's just Gross.

Megan: This is so weird. I don't like it. I also feel like they're exploiting these employees a little bit.

Maggie: They are! But it's OK, because they're so pretty, and persuasive.

Megan: They're so pretty that they can just get random people to perform unpaid labor for them.

Cut to Luke and Lorelai’s bedroom after the gym. Luke is still very grumpy and complaining about everything from Logan’s basketball playing to the cheap Martha’s Vineyard sweats he was forced to buy to go to the gym because he didn’t pack anything.

Maggie: Okay. He keeps complaining about being cold but like no one else is actually dressed like it's cold?

Megan: It doesn't look like it's that cold.

Lorelai finally snaps and says he didn’t have to come if he’s going to complain about everything, and doesn’t he remember it’s Valentine’s weekend? And finally Luke realizes he’s being a little bit of a crappy boyfriend!

Maggie: At least she's finally calling him on something.

Megan: Yeah. I really think they need to just break up.

Cut to the kitchen, where Lorelai walks in to see Rory, wearing an apron, chopping vegetables, with what looks like a Food Network show’s worth of little dishes around her. Lorelai is appropriately flabbergasted that Rory is cooking.

Maggie: How does she know how to cook?

Megan: Unclear. She's become a Stepford wife.

Maggie: It's like the freakin' Donna Reed episode.

Megan: It is! Only it's come true!

Maggie: She became what Dean wanted.

Megan: And the person that she did not want to be. This is fucked up!

Outside, Logan is cooking the lobster on the grill. Because he is a man, Luke must join him out there.

Maggie: And then they keep doing this thing where they're forcing Luke and Logan together because we must separate the genders when we do fancy vacations. Luke has NEVER had lobster?

Megan: That makes no sense.

Maggie: No, Luke is a fishermen who lives in Connecticut.

Megan: Yeah, he lives on the Eastern Seaboard. He's had lobster.

Logan asks if Luke has a little V-Day present for Lorelai, because he got two for Rory and can share.

Maggie: AUGHHHH, this is so gross. Luke would never buy Lorelai anything like this.

Megan: And like what 21-year-old wants a tennis bracelet?

Maggie: Rory the Stepford wife. "We men gotta stick together." Thanks, Daniel Palladino!

Megan: Did a men's rights activist write this? Yes!

Maggie: Yes, Daniel Palladino, MRA.

Meanwhile, Rory tells Lorelai she and Logan are traveling to Asia this summer, and she's reading the books "and doing the research."

Maggie: When? When do you have time for this? You're doing like one-and-a-half semesters of work.

Megan: And being a Stepford wife.

Maggie: Going to Martha's Vineyard.

Megan: Going to the gym. "We go to the gym."

Maggie: "We like to hit the gym while we're here. We share the paper."

Rory, who apparently has never met Logan or Luke, tells Lorelai "These could be the ones."

Megan: "These could be the ones"? This is a demented conversation.

Maggie: This is so written by a man.

Megan: Yeah, this is just so male gaze-y. It's disgusting.

Cut to the most horrifying lobster dinner we have ever seen.

Maggie: Oh, and they're eating on the porch in February, they're eating OUTSIDE in February.

Megan: In light jackets. No snow. This is so fake. This is the most made-up shit I've ever seen in my life.

It's time for the big V-Day gift-giving, which raises the question—

Megan: Couldn't Logan just give her that gift in private?

Maggie: Yes, yes. Like a normal fucking human. Oh my god! So gross!

Luke says he and Logan just happened to go jewelry-shopping together.

Megan: Just a complete lie.

The characters acknowledge that it might be cold outside.

Maggie: Is it getting kind of cold? Yeah, it's probably 30 degrees outside. You just ate lobster. Is lobster even in season?

Megan: I have no idea. I just can't. The reality of this is just not holding together at all.

Maggie: Oh, now Luke likes Logan.

Megan: Because Logan gave him a valuable necklace? This is like actually the plot of some dark movie where the two men end up killing each other. That's what this is.

Maggie: Or there's just this deep undercurrent of neither of these people love each other. And this is how terrible these kinds of relationships end up.

Back in the bedroom, Lorelai tells Luke they lost all their deposits. Luke says they'll just get new ones!

Maggie: Oh yeah, money doesn't matter.

Luke says he loves Lorelai. "I really want to believe that," she responds.

Maggie: Then just get married on June 3!

Lorelai says the trip was a mistake. Luke says it wasn't and "You know I love you, right?"

Maggie: No.

Megan: No.

"I really need to hear that once in a while," says Lorelai.

Maggie: Yeah, you think?

Megan: None of us are aware of that actually.

Maggie: No, because you've completely ignored slash dumped her so that you can like have an unknown relationship with your daughter you just found out about and ignore your person that you supposedly love. Lorelai says, “I really love this necklace.” Blegh. Oh, there's the Dawson's Creek footage again.

Megan: Now some more stock images. Stock video! Meanwhile, in Capeside, Joey's paddling a canoe up the river. I'd rather be watching that!

Maggie: Yes!

Lorelai and Luke find a breakfast tray left for them in the hallway.

Maggie: So Rory and Logan ditched them again.

Luke admits he's been a jerk. Lorelai seems to forgive him.

Maggie: Awww, now they're having a heart to heart, Megan.

Megan: Everything's fine. Maybe everything's gonna work out.

Luke's solution: TIME TO ELOPE.

Maggie: Why are you going to elope? You already have the wedding planned on June 3. Just do your June 3 thing. Oh no!

Mitchum bursts in. He's looking for his son!

Maggie: Oh, no. Oh, no.

Megan: What's Rory wearing?

Maggie: I do not know. The fashion choices in this episode! Lorelai came out in her nightie with a sweatshirt over it.

Mitchum admonishes Logan. He has to play his role in the family! Rory stands behind them stiffly.

Megan: She's standing there so awkwardly. It's so weird.

Maggie: This is also like, so absurd. He would not be expected to be doing all of this stuff while he's still in college. He is a nepo baby. He gets to do whatever he wants. Then he'll maybe have a job if he wants it.

Welp. Time to leave Martha’s Vineyard, I guess!

Maggie: Those pants. Rory! And the coats. I remember this era. It was like the sweater jacket thing. Sweater jacket under another jacket.

Megan: Oh yeah, but they're different lengths.

Logan says Rory can just not think about his departure for England, and should just keep acting like they're still going to travel together.

Megan: Maybe you should talk about it?

Maggie: "Take the Porsche home and keep planning Asia." Rory, RUN!

Megan: He is delusional!

Maggie: Run! He's so insane. Why would you stay with someone like this? Ugh. Poor little rich boy!

Lorelai and Luke enter the diner, where Caesar is chatting away in the kitchen, unaware of their angst.

Megan: OK, good. They're back in Stars Hollow

Maggie: Remember there used to be a different Caesar?

Megan: Yep. Those were the days.

Caesar brings up April. Lorelai is immediately withdrawn and sad. Luke is distant and weird. We are very, very tired.

Maggie: And now we have to be awkward about the fact that Luke has a daughter again as if she's another woman. This is so gross. It's so stupid. I hate it.

Megan: Just break up! This is so stupid.

Maggie: Or treat April and Lorelai like they're about to have a relationship, which is what would be happening if you were actually getting married!

Megan: Yeah, this is deranged.

Lorelai says she'll walk home in the cold.

Maggie: "Cold is fine especially when I have my spring jacket on. Especially because this is California."

When Lorelai gets home, she has numerous messages from distant relatives because Emily placed an engagement announcement in the paper, but with just a picture of Lorelai. SURPRISE!

Maggie: Oh, I forgot about that. Would Emily do this?

Maggie: It's just Lorelai? It's not a picture of Luke and Lorelai together? [Maggie did some research following this episode, and found that this was once a normal practice. It’s just very old-fashioned, so, on-brand for Emily! —Eds.]

Megan: It's like a yearbook picture.

Maggie: Also Emily is inviting people to the wedding. This is clearly not what would be happening.

Megan: No, none of it makes sense.

Maggie: Luke and Lorelai would be paying for their own wedding and it would have very little to do with the Gilmores. God. That was terrible.

Megan: Yeah, it's like unwatchable. None of the character choices make sense. Rory has no personality anymore. She already didn't have a personality, but now she super doesn't have a personality.

Maggie: Even though she left the Gilmore house and left the DAR, but now she's fully in that personality mode.

Megan: Yeah, she's like a society wife. It's so gross.

Maggie: She's supposedly so busy with schoolwork, but she can go to Martha's Vineyard for the weekend and hit the gym and read Joan Didion and argue over the paper with Logan. It's disgusting!

Megan: Haha, because he's a slow reader. "We can't get two papers! What a waste of money!"

Maggie: They're probably 75 cents each.

Megan: She sounds like a like a robot, like a housewife robot.

Maggie: There's nothing left of her. There's nothing left, and then we're supposed to be like, "OK, Luke is finally talking to Lorelai, great. They had a heart to heart, great. But we still hate the daughter!" We didn't actually talk about the problem, which is that he's not allowing Lorelai to know his daughter.

Megan: Yeah, it's really silly. He's just unpleasant and mean-spirited for most of the episode and then he's like, "I just got in my head too much, but I'm sorry." And they never talked about their actual problems and then they go back to Stars Hollow and as soon as he brings up April, Lorelai is just crushed by it.

Maggie: Yeah, the dynamic is so bad. It's so bad. You can't let a child get in between a romantic relationship, because you feel you need to treat her like you can't be seeing someone at that time? It just does not make any sense.

Megan: Yeah, and I also feel like Lorelai would be more concerned with April's wellbeing, too, because she's a parent, and she also understands what it's like to be a single parent.

Maggie: Yeah, she would call Anna Nardini and be like "Hey, let's all sit down and figure this out. Let's talk about boundaries." Ugh, this is just so bad. And then the Logan thing, they they just keep bringing up like, "oh, we just like him again?" And there's still no explanation. And then at the end, we're supposed to be feeling bad for him because Mitchum wants him to work and he doesn't want to?

Megan: Yeah, what even is the conflict there?

Maggie: It's that Logan just wants to be at school and not work for his father's company because he's 22. And yet he's not even really in school. And so he's self-deluding to the point that he's just not thinking about what happens after graduation and is leading Rory on?

Megan: It doesn't make sense at all because he acts like he has no agency. He doesn't have to do any of that.

Maggie: And he doesn't even like journalism.

Megan: No, he doesn't care about journalism.

Maggie: Watch Succession! You don't have to do that. You can still be rich and just eff off and do whatever you want.

Megan: Yeah, I also feel like this is the point in the season where, well, it's called Gilmore Girls, but really, Logan is the main character now.

Maggie: Yes! And April!

Megan: And I just don't care about Logan.

Maggie: Logan and April. No, we don't care about either of these people.

Megan: No, I really don't.

Maggie: Let us have our people back!

Megan: Because April is a plot device.

Maggie: A plot device! She's just a weird little clone of Rory.

Megan: Yeah, and we talk a lot about how season 7 is better, and April actually has some character development in season 7 and becomes much more tolerable because she's not just there to be like a plot device to break up their relationship, but that's the only reason she's there for, and then Logan, we just have been given zero reason to actually care about him at all. And yet we're supposed to.

Maggie: He's just like this rich old man in a 22-year-old's body and we're supposed to find it charming or something. He thinks you have to get girls fancy jewelry on Valentine's Day.

Megan: It's not even something someone would've bought Rory in earlier seasons of this show. Also, when we were in college, no one wore tennis bracelets. I would buy costume jewelry from like the thrift store and I thought that was really cool. It's silly.

Maggie: It makes no sense. And he's like, "Oh, I bought two things." Why, why, why, do we like him again? Rory, why did you get back together with him? Why does this plot not make any sense anymore?

Megan: It doesn't make sense, and the thing that's so sad to me is that you pointed out that she becomes like the Donna Reed character in this episode. And I had never made that connection.

Maggie: It's like the last time we saw her wearing an apron.

Megan: Yeah, I think it was and now she's not doing that stuff ironically, like she did it ironically as a teenager to be funny and sort of weird and that episode has some real like "what the fuck?" energy.

Maggie: I think that was the last one we were like, "Ugh, we don't want to watch this."

Megan: Yeah. But it's so weird because she unironically is just behaving that way, and it's really hard to watch because the younger version of the character had so much more conviction about how that was not all she wanted.

Maggie: Yeah, and now she's just like, "Ooh, this is nice — house on Martha's Vineyard, six weeks in Asia over the summer paid for by my boyfriend." It's not like she has any money, and she's living with him, probably not paying any rent.

Megan: Yeah, she has no independence.

Maggie: And Paris is just off having a breakdown.

Megan: With no support at all! We don't even see what's going on with her in this episode.

Maggie: And Rory can't have friends anymore because now she's friends with her mom again.

Megan: Yeah, she can have a boyfriend and she can be friends with her mom, but she can't have anything else.

Maggie: She can drink with Colin and Finn.

Megan: It's really healthy. It's a really healthy way to be.

Maggie: This is a real low point. I don't even know how: How can we go any more into this season?

Megan: Well, I just think this is the rock bottom.

Maggie: OK.

Megan: I think.

Maggie: I feel I've blocked all this out of my memory, so I cannot recall how the rest of this season even goes. What else is there to happen?

Megan: I think the reason this episode bothers me so much is that the drama doesn't really make sense, but then also logistics don't make sense at all. It's like a misread of what someone who actually lives in New England would do. Luke never had a lobster roll?

Maggie: Yeah, that's freaking insane. No, it makes no sense.

Megan: You can get a lobster roll at like the Logan Airport. It's not exotic, so it's very out of touch with the setting in this weird way. It's bringing stock footage of a real place which I think somehow weirdly breaks the artifice of the show, because we're so used to seeing sets

Maggie: Yes.

Megan: And that's what Stars Hollow looks like. I don't want to see aerial shots of, like, the Cape.

Maggie: The Dawson's Creek montages. Yeah, it feels very out of sync with everything. But it's because they've driven us here. They just kept making nonsensical plot choices, and that led us to frigging Martha's Vineyard on Valentine's Day with two couples who hate each other.

Megan: Uh-huh. Which, when you put it that way, it could be really interesting if it were like a Noah Baumbach movie. I would watch that. But Daniel Palladino is no Noah Baumbach.

Maggie: Instead, it's just Rory being like, "these could be the ones!"

Megan: Oh my god. It's just such a cringey line. "These could be the ones!"

Maggie: Because apparently this is what the show's creators really wanted was that to be the end game, which is so obviously a terrible idea. From this episode alone, anyone could see that this was not headed in a good direction.

Megan: No, no, it's really bad.

Maggie: I have nothing else to say about this terrible episode. It's terrible! Down with Daniel Palladino!

Megan: It disparages Martha's Vineyard. It has creepy homophobic jokes in it.

Maggie: So many. Why do they have to keep hammering this home?

Megan: It's just early 2000s bro humor, and this very male gaze-y depiction of what women want in relationships that is so gross and off-base.

Maggie: Yes. Yes! And also, Rory and Lorelai would not want shitty jewelry. They don't want shitty jewelry that comes in those little black velvet boxes. It's ugly!

Megan: It's ugly, and a tennis bracelet is something that Emily would get for Rory.

Maggie: Yes!

Megan: And Rory would politely accept it and never wear it, but then Logan gets it for her and she's like, "Oh, pretty jewelry! I love it!"

Maggie: "It will go perfectly with all my skirt suits now."

Megan: That's fucked up.

Maggie: It's terrible.

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Gilmore Women is a weekly newsletter from journalists Maggie Mertens and Megan Burbank examining everything that’s wrong with Gilmore Girls. All of our weekly episode issues are free, but paid subscribers get special BONUS newsletters, on everything from the politics of Stars Hollow, how Dawson’s Creek and GG compared, and the show’s strange relationship to Judaism.

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