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LET SOOKIE WATCH “DARK SHADOWS” AND EAT TOBLERONE IN PEACE

What’s Wrong With Episode 99 “Come Home”? LET WOMEN CHOOSE

By Maggie

Sorry, not sorry, but I’m pretty much a ball of rage since last Monday’s news from the Supreme Court was leaked. Anyway, maybe that’s why I simply could not get into this episode, as much as I absolutely adore the final line of the episode between Emily and baby Georgia as she watches Teletubbies, “Goodbye Gigi. Enjoy your program.”

Alas, Gigi appears to be the only (OK very young) woman in the show this week to have the agency to do what she wants — just sit there and watch Teletubbies, damnit! — without everyone in the world telling her she better rethink that decision.

Where to begin with this mess of an episode? Perhaps with a literal car wreck: Richard, who we’ve begun to think has abusive and misogynistic tendencies in earlier episodes, pretty much confirms them all here by actually hitting Emily’s car while she is inside of it, because he’s mad she *checks notes* went on a date while they were separated.

He uses this accident as an excuse to literally bring Emily home from an event she was going to attend (and to cut short a conversation Emily was having of her own accord with the man whom she had dinner with previously), seemingly under duress, and then to heavily imply he wants their separation to end. He even tries to make Emily think there’s some false equivalency between Emily going on a date while separated and his not telling Emily about seeing an ex-girlfriend regularly while they were married. By the time Emily utters the title of this episode, I can’t help but feel she has been majorly coerced because she doesn’t want to deal with Richard’s anger or the complication of a divorce any more.

Then there’s Sookie’s storyline. Jackson corners Lorelai on the street to ask her to please let Sookie not work such late hours — only Lorelai isn’t having Sookie work late. Mystery!!! Turns out, very pregnant, already mother of one small child, full-time chef, Sookie is taking ONE HOUR TO HERSELF after work to eat some chocolate and watch an old comforting, television show in one of the empty rooms of the inn.

In true troubling Gilmore Girls fashion this decision leads to a major heart to heart from Lorelai about needing to own up to this behavior to Jackson (why?!?) and a full-throated confession from Sookie about all the guilt she feels doing this one tiny thing for herself. Wow.

SOOKIE: I am. I'm the most horrible person in the world.
LORELAI: Well, my mother will be sad to know she's been dethroned.
SOOKIE: I'm lying to my husband. I'm eating the inn's candy!
LORELAI: You can't discuss this with Jackson? Tell him you need one night a week to yourself to watch Dark Shadows? He wouldn't understand that?
SOOKIE: Of course he would understand. That's the problem. Jackson would immediately tell me, "Sit down, relax, watch T.V" and he'll take care of Davey.
LORELAI: Huh. Men are pigs.
SOOKIE: And then I would sit there wracked with guilt because he works all day too, and I would think about the fact that I'm shirking my motherly duties, and it would ruin everything. But here –
LORELAI: I get it.
SOOKIE: I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
LORELAI: Oh, don't worry about it. I do think you should tell Jackson, though. He thinks I have you chained to the stove. He's worried you're working too hard.
SOOKIE: I know. I'll go home right now and tell him.

Now, I am no stranger to the internalized misogyny that is mom guilt, but I wish this conversation had taken a slightly different turn. Like, perhaps, Lorelai could emphasize that Sookie shouldn’t have to tell anyone what she’s doing if it’s bringing her joy and saving her mental health a little bit? Or that she is fully allowed to drop the guilt that is simply our patriarchal society implying that a mother must be with a child every waking moment otherwise she is not a fit parent — god forbid a father take care of a baby one evening a week.

Then there’s Lane. Poor Lane — she doesn’t feel like a hot rock star in their band photos because she thinks her glasses make her look like “the female Buddy Holly.” So, for her own reasoning, she decides to try out contacts. And Zach won’t just let her have this!

ZACH: I guess. I mean, that's a pretty big thing to just spring on a guy.
LANE: Why?
ZACH: You don't look like you.
LANE: Yes, I do. It's just me, my face, without being impeded by a foreign plastic object.
ZACH: But you're the first smart girl I've ever gone out with, and the glasses are a big part of that.
LANE: Well, my I.Q. is still the same. Contacts don't change that.
ZACH: But you lose that initial impact. Now people will have to talk to you for a few minutes to figure out that you're smart.
LANE: Well, then, that's what they'll have to do.
ZACH: Okay. I'll try to get used to it.

Sorry, but in my experience a boyfriend who dislikes an aesthetic change you make for yourself is attracted to you for the wrong reasons. Then, in an even more disturbing twist, Zach and Mrs. Kim finally bond over hating the fact that Lane is not wearing her glasses.

MRS. KIM: You're not you without your glasses.
ZACH: I agree.
MRS. KIM: What?
LANE: What?
ZACH: It's just – your glasses. I liked your glasses. You should wear them. I'm just saying.
MRS. KIM: She should wear them. She should always wear them.
ZACH: I've said it before, but it's true. They made you look smart.
MRS. KIM: Of course they made her look smart. She's a smart girl. Glasses fit her.
ZACH: Totally.
LANE: Zach –
MRS. KIM: You always looked good in them. Glasses suit her face.
ZACH: The black frames, especially with her hair –
MRS. KIM: She wore them in the first grade. She first girl in her class.
ZACH: And I bet she looked great.
MRS. KIM: I have pictures in a photo book. I could show you.
ZACH: I'd love to see them.

Glasses are great, I love glasses! But let women do what they want with their eyewear!!! The only person who gets to decide whether glasses suit Lane’s true self is LANE. And Red flag alert when your (hyper-controlling) mom and your partner team up to tell you what you should look like!!!

Finally, there’s Lorelai, who isn’t allowed to just choose her own good, stable, happy relationship without her mother driving all the way to Boston (NOT EVER WORTH IT, IMHO) to confront Christopher about, what? Breaking them up? Because, according to her, Christopher is the better fit for Lorelai because: “You have good breeding. You come from an impeccable family and you love Lorelai. You've always loved Lorelai.”

While, on the other hand, Luke is not a good fit for Lorelai because: “He owns a diner. He's a divorcee. He's uneducated, he's not a proper stepfather for Rory and he's completely unsuitable for Lorelai.”

SORRY EMILY I KNOW YOU WERE JUST GASLIT INTO RETURNING TO YOUR OWN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE BUT THIS IS TOO FAR. Also, as we’ve pointed out several times before, Christopher is a TERRIBLE father who has never been mature enough to be a stable presence in Rory’s life or even pay child support. But Luke has always helped Rory celebrate her birthday and literally feeds her daily???? And Christopher’s “impeccable family” was the one that fully rejected Rory as their grandchild?

Furthermore, I know WASPs care about things like “good families” but for god’s sake, Emily is saying the quiet part out loud when she relates Christopher’s lineage to that of a race horse with a championship pedigree. (This idea of “good breeding” is btw, very closely related to the ideology that spurred the anti-abortion movement, segregation, and the closely related, eugenics movement).

Anyway, I don’t know that I buy this whole thing with Emily meddling anyway, because even for her it feels over the top in terms of controlling her daughter’s life, and I don’t know why she’d want to be tied even more closely to Christopher forever, after the times she’s stood up to him, and even here says she doesn’t much like him. But I suppose the writers needed YET ANOTHER roadblock to put in front of Luke and Lorelai, because we just can’t EVER BE HAPPY.

Alright, I lied. Gigi isn’t the only female character to not have their choices questioned this episode: Rory decides all on her own to share notes, interviews, and research with Logan in order to help him out with an article he has to write for The Yale Daily News to keep his father (newspaper magnate) Mitchum Huntzberger, happy with his plans for succession. She is clearly doing it as an excuse to hang out with Logan and try to get him to ask her out.

This whole situation makes me sad, because Rory does the work with none of the credit to help a wealthy white man continue the reign of his white wealthy family in the media industry (THIS IS WHY WE DON’T HAVE DIVERSITY IN JOURNALISM, RORY!). And she doesn’t even get a date to the Seymour Hersh party! But, I actually like that no one steps in to tell her not to do this. Of course, I wish the show would have followed this up with Rory actually dealing with the repercussions of these actions: feeling used, wishing she’d asked for a co-byline or a reporting credit on the story, or at the very least recognizing that Logan is not a great potential partner because he just assumes hard-working women will do the work he doesn’t want to do while he gladly earns the glory. BUT WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

11 Other Things Wrong With This Episode

There is so much spiky early 2000s boy hair in this episode. Which is just, wow, shocking when you are faced with it all at once. The exception is Zach, who is sporting an actual mullet? It is not cute!
Of course Lorelai has to make a weirdly homophobic joke when Lane tells her she looks cute.
Lorelai read the oven manual because she couldn’t sleep at Luke’s place. Further proof he has no books in his home and does not read books and all of his book references heretofore are out of place.
Lorelai making very light of the sexual harassment at work talk is very not cool or feminist as a manager! Especially when we know that hospitality workers are often targets of such harassment!
I thought Lorelai hated “the B&B look” but the Dragonfly Inn has like 800 different floral prints happening in its decor???? How did I not notice this before????
Gil’s discussion of why he likes Korean food is just dripping with diet culture yuck.
However, Gil and Brian’s enthusiasm for attending the Korean New Year Celebration at Mrs. Kim’s house is just further proof they are both far better humans than Zach.
Once again I am noticing that this show goes to extreme lengths to show Rory doesn’t drink. And I just don’t really get why? She’s always having a cappuccino at the student pub, while Logan has a beer. Which, OK, she’s underage and he’s presumably over 21. But then at Friday Night Dinner, when Richard and Emily bring out champagne for everyone to announce their reunion, Rory very politely puts the glass down as soon as it is handed to her. She doesn’t even cheers! This is peak appropriate situation to drink even if you’re underage, Rory!
Richard and Emily go from getting in car accidents out of anger to hosting a huge vow renewal celebration in one week. That’s real fast!! And even for Emily, putting together an event like this that quickly feels pretty impossible. Convenient for television purposes, though.
Lorelai tries to tell Luke he should come to the vow renewal because her parents just “don’t know you yet.” But didn’t we just have a whole episode of Emily and Richard cornering Luke into spending time with them and Richard trying to franchise Luke’s Diner, etc.?
I am worried for Luke’s sleep habits! He wakes up at 4:00 for deliveries two days a week and goes to bed at 9:30? That’s only like 6 hours of sleep! That’s not enough, Luke!

Gilmore Women is a weekly newsletter from journalists Maggie Mertens and Megan Burbank examining everything that’s wrong with Gilmore Girls. All of our weekly episode issues are free, but paid subscribers get special BONUS newsletters — like our most recent, from Thulasi Seshan on the electoral politics of Stars Hollow.

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